I was fortunate enough to be invited as a production guest to the recording of an episode of pop quiz Never Mind The Buzzcocks. I’ve been to plenty of TV comedy recordings over the years but each have involved an amount of queuing outside before being herded into the studio like laughter cattle.
Not this time. This time it was straight into the VIP area with the wonderful combination of celebrities and free booze giving me carte blanche to pester the celebrities.
I’d only caught the odd episode of NMTB since the show moved to a guest presenter format, and am generally ignorant of current pop music, so I was pleased when word went round that a member of JLS had cancelled and the emergency replacement panellist was to be Kriss Akabusi. As someone whose formative years were the nineties I was also thrilled to see one of B*witched hanging out backstage. I’ve come to accept that I live my life attempting to retrospectively impress my teenage self and so pledged to get photos with each of them after the recording. And to find out which member of B*witched she was.
I took my seat for the recording and immediately regretted drinking so much. Show recordings naturally go on for much longer than the normal length of the episode and Buzzcocks was no different. Despite increasing pressure on my bladder I enjoyed it and, through the identity parade round, had learnt that the particular woman clad in double denim I wanted a photo with was named Keavy. But two hours definitely felt like two hours and I was relieved when filming finished.
We were filtered backstage where I immediately began circling Akabusi, my primary target, till he was free before rushing to the bathroom. I was devastated that, by the time I retuned, Keavy B*witched had left the building leaving just four quite similar looking girls in her wake.
C’est la vie.